I’ve been watching Eli Stone. It is not a show that I’ve set the TiVo for, but a program I started watching in those slim entertainment months during the writers strike. I might have set the TiVo for it if it wasn’t for the fact that every female character that comes into the hero’s sphere just happens to be a beautiful woman who just happens to be/have been/will be in love with the somewhat dorky hero (shown in flashbacks with moptop hair and bad glasses that still would have been bad in the 80s just in case you don't think Miller is dorky looking). Really, watching television execs trying to right the wrongs of their Dungeon & Dragons high school
years by casting pretty faces next to average Joes is eye-rollingly irritating. While Jonny Lee Miller is a cutie (and was married to Angelina Jolie, but so was Billy Bob Thornton), they have him teamed with former model Natasha Henstridge and a-now-brunette Julie Gonzalo. (Note to TV execs: Dying a blonde to a brunette does not make her less attractive or seem smarter.) It wouldn’t be quite so bad if the set-ups weren’t so obvious. Like, perhaps, if the actress and the star had natural chemistry then something could evolve organically with her one-episode part turning her into a regular. This has been known to happen and your audience would respond accordingly. But instead, the chick is introduced and right away there are goo-goo eyes being made. In fact, in just about every 
episode so far a love triangle subplot has been included. This, however, is not a blog about the casting choices of contemporary sit-coms. It’s about George Michael.Eli Stone the character has a problem. He might be a prophet. Or it might be an aneurysm in his brain. Either way, he’s having hallucinations usually set to a George Michael soundtrack. George has made a couple of guest appearances, but when the need arises Victor Garber (of Damn Yankees fame) or Loretta Devine (of Dreamgirls fame) steps in to fill in with the pipes as they are secondary characters on the show (much like Pushing Daisies with Kristin Chenoweth and Ellen Greene. TV is finally using theater people and all their talents much to the delight of Broadway musical geeks everywhere). And every week, I get just a little excited when I hear the opening strings of “I Want Your Sex” or “Father Figure” or whichever Michael song they use. I think, “Yey! I love this song!” I feel happy. I want to dance around like a ten-year old. So imagine my delight when I started to see billboards up around town advertising the new George Michael CD, Twenty Five. BIG YEY!
So I revved up my iTunes account and saw that they were featuring the new CD. I clicked onto the album image and…wait a minute. Something isn’t right here. What is it? Oh yes. I see it. Every song has the word “explicit” in a red box next to it. Huh? Right next to the cover image is the “Parental Advisory, Explicit Content” stamp. So, you’re telling me that George Michael tunes get the same treatment as Public Enemy and Kid Rock and every other songster out there using the F-bomb and talking about drug dealing and killing cops and beating hos because – what? – his lyrics are about sex? Umm, you’re kidding me, right? No. No, they’re not. People, Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” is explicit. I guess the mere allusion to a one-night stand is enough to make some mothers fear for the morality of their babies. Just further condemnation on my mother it would seem, since I used to crank this up and dance in the middle of the living room when I was eleven and this song topped Casey Kasem’s American Top 40. What kind of sick mom would allow that! But the one that actually made me laugh out loud was the little red EXPLICIT box next to “Last Christmas.” HA! Seriously. HA!
Being the Libertarian that I am, I just had to click into that Parental Advisory logo and read it. iTunes, of course, blames the RIAA, and some lawyer had a heck of a time wording the advisory so that it didn’t say, “Look, don’t sue us if you’re an idiot and read too far into the lyrics of a song or aren’t monitoring what your kid is buying/listening to.” My favorite line is this one: Whether, in light of contemporary cultural morals and standards and the choices and views of individual parents, the recording might be one that parents may not want their children to listen to. (From the iTunes page.) “Whether, in light of contemporary cultural morals and standards….” Hmm. This made me interested in those recordings from today’s artists that have “clean versions” – IE an edited version of an album or song whose content has been modified from its original form so that it does not require the Parental Advisory Label (so sayeth the RIAA). Songs like “My Humps” by the Black-Eyed Peas. In which the lyrics specifically indicate her “lovely lady humps,” and how she uses them to get men to buy her designer products. Or how about “Big Pimpin’” by Jay-Z in which the F-bomb is removed from these lyrics:
You know I thug 'em, fuck 'em, love 'em, leave 'em/ Cause I don't fuckin' need 'em/ Take 'em out the hood/ Keep 'em looking good/ But I don't fuckin' feed em/ First time they fuss I'm breezin'/ Talking 'bout what's the reasons/ I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch
Yes, because removing the word “fuck” makes it so much better and morally responsible.
It made a body – this body – begin to think there was a double standard here. Is the RIAA saying that rappers and cross-R&B artists are speaking to a different kind of audience, people with different values? People whose morals only extend to their child cussing and not to the ideology behind the music they listen to? And what about George Michael? While I was growing up, his homosexuality was not known to me. At eleven, I thought he was a cute guy with great hair and short shorts. Who he was sleeping with would never have occurred to me. One may argue that his recent legal problems have brought his orientation to the forefront, but if your kid is watching TMZ, s/he has already been exposed to pictures of Paris, Lindsay, and Brittany’s labia. An 80s sex symbol soliciting sex in a park bathroom would hardly be a blip on their screen. Are these, EXPLICIT stamps a direct result of people being privy to George’s sexual orientation and therefore is the RIAA saying, “We know he’s talking about gay sex, so….”? I realize that we live in a litigious society and that most corporations are just trying to cover their billion-dollar asses by making sure the William Donohues of the world can’t get a piece of their pie, but com’on. There’s got to be a more sensible way than asking the members of the RIAA to make broad assumptions based on cultural stereotypes as to what is morally questionable. Sex is a subtle and not immoral act. In fact, it's something that God demands that we do as it is the means to procreation. But the RIAA is not saying that we can't talk about sex, they're saying that only certain kinds of sex is objectionable. And once you try to categorize sexual acts, all the –isms come screaming out. It’s okay for rappers to exploit women for sex, it seems. And ladies, it’s okay to be exploited for sex as long as you’re getting something out of it. Preferably a Prada bag. But it’s never okay to have sex with a man if you are a man (interestingly, there are no labels on any of the Melissa Etheridge songs).
Despite their immorality, I downloaded “Freedom” and “Faith.” I figure whatever damage was done to my psyche by these lyrics was done a long time ago. But let’s just hope to god that no child under the age of 18 steals my iPod. I wouldn’t want to corrupt them with my amoral musical tastes.
So I revved up my iTunes account and saw that they were featuring the new CD. I clicked onto the album image and…wait a minute. Something isn’t right here. What is it? Oh yes. I see it. Every song has the word “explicit” in a red box next to it. Huh? Right next to the cover image is the “Parental Advisory, Explicit Content” stamp. So, you’re telling me that George Michael tunes get the same treatment as Public Enemy and Kid Rock and every other songster out there using the F-bomb and talking about drug dealing and killing cops and beating hos because – what? – his lyrics are about sex? Umm, you’re kidding me, right? No. No, they’re not. People, Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” is explicit. I guess the mere allusion to a one-night stand is enough to make some mothers fear for the morality of their babies. Just further condemnation on my mother it would seem, since I used to crank this up and dance in the middle of the living room when I was eleven and this song topped Casey Kasem’s American Top 40. What kind of sick mom would allow that! But the one that actually made me laugh out loud was the little red EXPLICIT box next to “Last Christmas.” HA! Seriously. HA!
Being the Libertarian that I am, I just had to click into that Parental Advisory logo and read it. iTunes, of course, blames the RIAA, and some lawyer had a heck of a time wording the advisory so that it didn’t say, “Look, don’t sue us if you’re an idiot and read too far into the lyrics of a song or aren’t monitoring what your kid is buying/listening to.” My favorite line is this one: Whether, in light of contemporary cultural morals and standards and the choices and views of individual parents, the recording might be one that parents may not want their children to listen to. (From the iTunes page.) “Whether, in light of contemporary cultural morals and standards….” Hmm. This made me interested in those recordings from today’s artists that have “clean versions” – IE an edited version of an album or song whose content has been modified from its original form so that it does not require the Parental Advisory Label (so sayeth the RIAA). Songs like “My Humps” by the Black-Eyed Peas. In which the lyrics specifically indicate her “lovely lady humps,” and how she uses them to get men to buy her designer products. Or how about “Big Pimpin’” by Jay-Z in which the F-bomb is removed from these lyrics:
You know I thug 'em, fuck 'em, love 'em, leave 'em/ Cause I don't fuckin' need 'em/ Take 'em out the hood/ Keep 'em looking good/ But I don't fuckin' feed em/ First time they fuss I'm breezin'/ Talking 'bout what's the reasons/ I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch
Yes, because removing the word “fuck” makes it so much better and morally responsible.
It made a body – this body – begin to think there was a double standard here. Is the RIAA saying that rappers and cross-R&B artists are speaking to a different kind of audience, people with different values? People whose morals only extend to their child cussing and not to the ideology behind the music they listen to? And what about George Michael? While I was growing up, his homosexuality was not known to me. At eleven, I thought he was a cute guy with great hair and short shorts. Who he was sleeping with would never have occurred to me. One may argue that his recent legal problems have brought his orientation to the forefront, but if your kid is watching TMZ, s/he has already been exposed to pictures of Paris, Lindsay, and Brittany’s labia. An 80s sex symbol soliciting sex in a park bathroom would hardly be a blip on their screen. Are these, EXPLICIT stamps a direct result of people being privy to George’s sexual orientation and therefore is the RIAA saying, “We know he’s talking about gay sex, so….”? I realize that we live in a litigious society and that most corporations are just trying to cover their billion-dollar asses by making sure the William Donohues of the world can’t get a piece of their pie, but com’on. There’s got to be a more sensible way than asking the members of the RIAA to make broad assumptions based on cultural stereotypes as to what is morally questionable. Sex is a subtle and not immoral act. In fact, it's something that God demands that we do as it is the means to procreation. But the RIAA is not saying that we can't talk about sex, they're saying that only certain kinds of sex is objectionable. And once you try to categorize sexual acts, all the –isms come screaming out. It’s okay for rappers to exploit women for sex, it seems. And ladies, it’s okay to be exploited for sex as long as you’re getting something out of it. Preferably a Prada bag. But it’s never okay to have sex with a man if you are a man (interestingly, there are no labels on any of the Melissa Etheridge songs).
Despite their immorality, I downloaded “Freedom” and “Faith.” I figure whatever damage was done to my psyche by these lyrics was done a long time ago. But let’s just hope to god that no child under the age of 18 steals my iPod. I wouldn’t want to corrupt them with my amoral musical tastes.
1 comment:
Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go is about a one-night stand?? I had NO idea.
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