A Purist's Review

I liked THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN, so shoot me. According to every review I've read from The New Yorker to Salon to Variety -- and not to mention the Comment sections from some websites, oy! -- everyone seems to be offended by Spielberg's adaptation of Herge's comic hero. They're offended that Spielberg added Indiana Jones-like scenarios to the three cobbled together comic books that qualify as the source material. They're offended that TinTin has no depth of character. Some people are offended by the CGI and think it's a slight to the artist who pioneered the ligne claire style of cartooning. Some reviewers have called it "exhausting." To which I say, "Really?" I thought it was kinda fun.

While I will confess to an Archie comic infatuation at the age of ten (Team Betty!), I was never a true comic reader. When graphic novels became en vogue about ten years ago, I was working at the Barnes & Noble on 17th Street in New York City. Bouncy college kids from the School of Visual Arts would bop in, secure in their super cool, arty hipness, and ask where the Graphic Novels were located. At that time, they occupied three shelves next to Manga. (During a recent visit, they had four bookcases. Manga had expanded, too. I don't know what happened to Poetry and Essays which used to reside there. Poetry, I barely knew thee...literally.) I was perplexed enough to trek up to the fourth floor myself and check out Daredevil and Watchmen. I didn't get it and never bothered again. So, it seems I missed the gem TinTin in its original form. To which I say, C'est la vie. Herge would know what I mean. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to read books before they become movies. But some books can be skipped without feeling too badly about missing the literary purity of the story. I mean, it's hard to watch a Grisham adaptation and leave the theater saying, "Wow, in the book, that chase scene wasn't just a chase scene. It was the character's existential crisis where he wasn't just running away from that crooked judge, but running away from the ghost of his father's unrealistic expectations!" because, you know, that's not really the point of a Grisham novel. But I do think that people who loved the TinTin comics were bound to be disappointed, just like anyone who has ever loved any book has been disappointed by a theatrical adaptation. Choices have to be made, and perhaps they wouldn't be your choices. Which brings me to CGI.

People do not like CGI. People who plonked down $18 for IMAX in 3D to watch blue giants on another planet, got all weirded out about TINTIN. James Cameron is a genius, but people throw around the name Bob Zemeckis like it's a curse word. One commentator I read was in high dudgeon over the fact that TINTIN is going to be considered in the Best Animation category when it's sooo not animation in the classical sense! How "classical" do you want to go, because if I remember correctly, people were all hot and bothered over computer generated animation around the time of TOY STORY's launch. Should we insist that SHREK and UP! return their Oscars? The only reason there is an animation category is because of computer generated cartooning. CGI is just the next genesis of that evolution. Before I move on, I'll give you a moment to pick your wedgie, because obviously your panties are in a bunch.

One of the reasons I think Hollywood likes comics and graphic novels is not only the "platform" - IE. established material with its own following -- but, that it's basically just storyboarding. They get storyboarding! Hollywood creative execs are usually visual people who don't want the writer to mickey around with the "story" too much. Yet those pesky writers keep trying to put non-essential "stuff" into the script. You know, like character development, motivation, and dialogue that isn't just set-up>punchline. But we have far surpassed the days of "moving pictures" and there has to be more then just a lot of music and a title card every few minutes. Audiences are much more sophisticated and when we do cheat them out of a story, they get grumbly. And I think this is what reviewers were responding too in TINTIN. There was no character exploration that was being exercised through external conflict. I guess the only criticism, when viewed in this context, could be that Spielberg was enamored by the visuals with which CGI was allowing him to experiment. But, honestly, that is what I enjoyed most about TINTIN. Spielberg was so obviously enjoying himself! It felt like a kid in the candy store. He directed the film like he would have directed, yes, Indiana Jones, but with flourish! His little call backs to his own movies -- JAWS, JURASSIC PARK, et. al -- is something Pixar does in every film. Moving the camera around a space in a way that it would be difficult or dangerous on a set provided thrilling optics. He was able to pour in a little slapstick without it feeling out of place. It was like an amusement ride, and I enjoyed it immensely. However, maybe it was these visual gymnastics that reviewers didn't like, or why some people felt tired by the end of it. There was so much to see! Which is also why, maybe, the character development of TinTin wasn't up to par. But, *shrug* I enjoyed it.

OK, so maybe it wasn't a pure Herge movie for the Herge enthusiast. But it was definitely an enthusiastic Spielberg adventure film, and pure fun for people who like quintessential Spielberg films. And I do.

The One that Got Away

A few years ago, I was traversing the floor of Book Expo America when I came upon the Scholastic booth where a very large line had formed. Since the final Harry Potter had just been released the year before, I curiously asked a woman in line for what she was queuing. "The next HUNGER GAMES," she replied, happily. "Oh," I said with a little mental shrug and wound my way around the booth and past the seventy-plus middle-aged librarians excitingly chattering in line. About ten minutes later, I met up with my friend, Edie, who is an editor at Penguin. "Do you know what HUNGER GAMES is?" She froze like a deer in headlights right in the middle of the BEA floor (which one should never do...) "Scholastic has THE HUNGER GAMES?!" At which point, we sprinted back to the Scholastic booth. After Edie updated me on the emerging phenom, I quickly called my boss and asked her to check StudioSystem to see if THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins had been optioned because if it hadn't, I was willing to sell a kidney, a couple of eggs, and the lobe of my liver to raise the money for the film rights on the planned three books. Even though I hadn't read the first book and was holding the pre-published second book in my hand, it had obviously struck a nerve within the literary community. Unfortunately, Lionsgate had scooped it up a scant two months earlier. I read the first and second book back-to-back and then waited like a coke addict for pay day until the third book was published. Everyone I've given the trilogy to since has been desperately waiting for the movie along with me. This morning, the trailer was revealed. We may never get Wonder Woman, but we can at least have Katniss Everdeen.

Cream of the Crop

The new television season has started! Can I get a woot-woot?! (Did I just age myself? I did, didn't I? Well, get jiggy with it, and let's move forward.) I'm sure you have a life, dear Reader, and have not done what I have done and either watched or DVR'd almost every premiere aired and have already dedicated hours of precious life to faux-Chuck Lorre comedies and Friends knock-offs. And even though some -- Pan Am, Terra Nova, Grimm, and Once Upon a Time -- have not aired yet, I do have thoughts on the current crop already. I'm sure this is how vintners feel at the end of grape growing season. While the Chardonnays aren't quite ready yet, and the Pinots need to age a bit, some of these Merlots are excellent!

NEW GIRL: This is already getting bashed by a couple of my friends and my hairdresser, but I totally like it and I've moved it up on my DVR's priority list. I particularly liked that they didn't set up the romantic entanglement (though my money is on Nick). I feel like they're going to let it breathe and allow the actors to nurture their natural chemistry. I'm very upset, however, that Damon Wayans, Jr. had to go back to Happy Endings (who saw that getting a second season pick-up?!). While Happy Endings might become the best Friends knock-off we've seen yet, New Girl feels like it's going to become the next genesis of Friends and therefore will probably have legs. I like DW, Jr. in general and prefer Coach over Brad (yes, I did watch Happy Endings. Casey Wilson deserves a fantastic career, and I will devote myself to that end...at least for another mid-season replacement). I read that they replaced DW, Jr. in the second episode with a new new "roommate," but I think it screws with their gimmick a little. Not that the average viewer is going to care or probably pick up on it (See: Cougartown). But I did, it will bother me in the way that only a snobby development person can be bothered by such lame things. The complaints that I've heard have been over Zooey Daschanel's character. She's dumb, supposedly and/or annoying. Why did they have to make her so weird? I guess that "quirky" can come off "dumb," but I saw the character as more awkward, insecure, and nerdy. Which I like, because I'm really tired of hip, gorgeous, sexual secure women who trip while walking into a bar then open their eyes wide in wonder when a hip, gorgeous, sexual secure man likes them because, hey, she tripped! She's not perfect! How could he possible like her?! Blergh. I'll take quirky and weird over neurotic any day...which brings me to

UP ALL NIGHT: I've watched both episodes and if I watch any more, it's only because my roommate liked it, and I might sit through it while on my iPad answering emails. Maya Rudolph, like Casey Wilson, deserves a stellar career. I don't know if she deserves this show. I did read that they re-shot the pilot to add more Maya to which I think we should all thank the network gods. In fact, they should scrap this and spin-off Ava into her own show. While Christina -- completely gorgeous -- and Will -- totally handsome -- are pretty funny people with terrific timing, I think they both belong in ensemble casts. I just don't get this. Possible because I'm not a parent working in L.A.'s entertainment industry. Their neurosis chafed at me. These are privileged, entitled people wondering if their hipster neighbors who just bought a million dollar house in, what, Los Feliz, will like them. This is what they worry about? Check, please! Maybe because I work with these kinds of people and can't stand them, I'm the wrong audience for this show. Additionally, the scripts have been uneven, and Glee has taught me never to brush off an uneven episode.

FREE AGENTS: Another show that people are already bashing. I've watched two episodes, and I'm on the fence. I love Hank Azaria, and Kathryn Hahn needs something big to happen. She's very smart and funny. I don't know why she's not catching on. But this isn't it for her. And it won't be it for Hank, either, but Hank has a solid career. How he's doing this and ten voices on the Simpsons, I don't know. The big problem with this show is that the pilot felt like Episode Ten. There is something sweet between Helen and Alex, however, they've already answered the Will They or Won't They question (they did) and we're now in a FWB situation with 40-year olds. Is this exciting? I don't think so. It's all a little familiar. But I love Hank and Kathryn, so, *shrug*

RINGER: *Disclosure* I am not a Buffy fan, ergo Sarah Michelle Gellar's return to series was not an impetus to watch this show...Ioan Gruffudd was! Hello, Captain Hornblower! *kiss, kiss* I think they threw everything and the newly renovated apartment's kitchen sink into this pilot's script. It was a lot to take in, and the special effects were pretty atrocious. With that said, if I catch it, I catch it if only to gaze in adoration at Mr. Fantastic. But the evil twin storyline is laughable, not to mention that I can probably chart out the next two seasons' plotline for you right now. But if you liked it, I'll let you be semi-surprised by this soap opera.

THE SECRET CIRCLE: Don't hate me. I love it. LOL! Won't do Vampire Diaries, but this totally looked like the The Craft, and I was all for it. I also like Britt Robertson. She was terrific in Dan in Real Life, though a little stiff in Avalon. She's a little stiff here, too, but I think she has potential.

PERSON OF INTEREST: *Sigh* I don't know what to say about this. First, I guess the tenth anniversary of 9/11 means we can use it now as character/plot motivation in series TV to give -- what, gravitas? -- I don't know. Person of Interest used it, as did last night's CSI:NY. In the case of Person of Interest, it is used to set up the world: A 1984-like police state where we are all being monitored all the time and there is a Big Brother computer collecting this data and hypothesizing who is going to either commit or be a victim of a violent crime. The conspiracy theorists are going to luuuv this show. With that said, I like this show. Jim Caviezel's cheekbones alone will keep me tuning in for awhile, and maybe it'll either completely hook me like Lost -- hello, Michael Emerson -- or be my go-to show like House. Solid, well-acted, and good TV. In fact, smart money would be on a House-like scenario. Close-ended episodes perfect for dipping into and syndication. But we'll see.

2 BROKE GIRLS: This show wins for the most Chuck Lorre-like show that is not produced by Chuck Lorre. I adore -- AH-DORE -- Kat Dennings. But I'm not sure about this show. It is definitely on the right network, unlike Whitney, and it'll probably work out, unlike Whitney. Luckily, Whitney Cummings is the co-creator and probably getting a nice paycheck which she is going to need when NBC axes Whitney. Why am I talking about Whitney in the 2 Broke Girls paragraph? Because there's really nothing to talk about in regards to either. In 2 Brooke Girls, two girls with no money are going to start a cupcake shop (so NYC 2005, btw) by pooling their waitress'ing tips. The gimmick is that at the end of episode we see how much money they have cumed towards their $25,000 goal. Hopefully, the economy turns around and they are able to get a small business loan in three years, but, hey!, it's TV! In the middle of that, hi-jinks ensue because they are, you know, two broke girls. CBS comedy, what can you say...

A GIFTED MAN: Probably my second favorite of the season. I want to hate Susannah Grant, but I can't. I will reserve, however, that I don't know how long they will be able to sustain the gimmick. Considering the love story is between a very hot and gifted surgeon and a dead ex-wife, well, other than Patrick Wilson growing enough to fall in love with someone else and letting Jennifer Ehle go, it's kind of a Gothic romance like Heathcliff and Katherine, isn't it? He can't have the girl. Literally. But, Jennifer Ehle is luminous. She, like Kathryn Hahn, deserves so much more than she's been given. She is incredible actress. I'm hoping that between Contagion and this, she will finally gain the eye of Hollywood's power producers. HIRE HER! Good god! I also don't know how this is going to do once Jonathan Demme is no longer directing. The pilot was just gorgeously shot, and I'm afraid of what's going to happen to the enormous set pieces once the production value is wrangled to the one million mark. Bad, bad things can happen. But I'm totally going with this one if just for the cast. Speaking of a kick ass cast

PRIME SUSPECT: I have not watched an episode yet, but I just saw a publicity shot and Brian F. O'Bryne and Aiden Quinn are in this? Hm, I might have to Hulu this one just to check out. I was on protest because, well, American versions of British hits aren't exactly good. Just look at Being Human and just about everything else. Even The Office, while a hit, never really worked for me. And while I'm on protest

THE PLAYBOY CLUB: No. NOOO. You can not make me. First, cloaking misogyny and sexual exploitation in the guise of a period drama is ridiculous. Calling it sexual equality makes me want to vomit. Second, you can't call it female empowerment then start the show off with a girl almost getting raped, killing her attacker, and then needing a big strong man to come and save her. Third, you're no Mad Men. Unless you can pull off an episode like "The Suitcase," you're just a wannabe and totally don't get what Mad Men is about anyway. All style, no substance. Will not. NO. Ditto for Charlie's Angels. Minka, darling, be the Farrah and GET OUT!

As I've said, there is more to come in the next few weeks, and I'm very interested in which of these get the ax first. While there is a lot of serviceable material out, they will have to compete with Modern Family which started off strong, Community and its cult following, Simon Cowell shows old and new, and all the Chuck Lorre and Shondra Rhimes programs that have their own legions of fans, not to mention cable. When is Mad Men starting again? My DVR is jammed and I've had to make some tough decisions. However, if some of these can just limp through this season, I think we're going to need them for next year when Desperate Housewives, House, and possibly Grey's Anatomy, Chuck, and The Office finally go away because all in all, there's nothing atrocious that can't be ironed out with some solid acting and a good story arc.

Here's to the new season, darlings! Cheers!

Hope for the Best

A month ago, we got a green light for our second film of the season, and we're in that glorious time called pre-production. Pre-production is when a person gets to believe that bad writing will finally get that one last polish to smooth out all those goofy lines, that this director will finally be the director who doesn't become a raging despot on set and go over budget by millions for no apparent cinematic reason, and that all the actors cast will be inspired and embody the character they were employed to portray without dialing it in. After five years, this is still my hope. What can I say? I'm an optimist!

Well, we're polishing the script, and there are still goofy lines, and - in my opinion - the director has already made some questionable calls in regards to where to put some money which means it's only down hill from here. However! There is still hope in casting! There is always hope in casting...until there isn't. It started off very good as I made a suggestion about the lead and the EP thought it was brilliant and the actor liked the script and moved things around in his schedule and now he's our lead! Yay! I like producing! And then the actual casting sessions started. The new movie is a large ensemble piece that requires younger actors with "character." In other words, we're not looking for High School Musical kids, we're looking for kids that are a little off-beat, are actually teenagers, and aren't necessarily beautiful. And, yes, I know we are beautiful in every single way, but directors seem to love CW's standard of beauty over Christina Aguilera's standard of beauty, if you know what I mean. I haven't met a director yet that has taken that weird, gumpy looking actor who actually understands the motivations of the character and delivers goofy lines organically over, you know, that model turned actor. How else do you explain Mark Wahlberg who started out as the brother of a "New Kid on the Block," got a rap career which was eclipsed by a modeling career, which got him into movies, which got him into producing a TV show that mocks people trying to make a film career through merit by revealing that it really is all in who you know? *Sigh* (I'm so glad that show is over. I love Mark Wahlberg - call me! - but, com'on. Thank god for In Treatment and Boardwalk Empire or else my love would be in cheap tatters never to be risen from the ashes of our mutual devotion to working-class Irish neighborhoods and Catholicism.) I'm digressing. Where was I? Oh, casting! Right.

Anyway, couple weeks ago, we're on nowcasting.com looking at the auditions. And the thing about development is that you spend weeks and months and sometimes years just talking about the plot and the story arc and the characters, and the character development, motivation and journey. I mean, hours are spent on this! And you work very, very closely with the writer(s) to bang the script into something that feels emotional, subtle and satisfying. So when I'm watching auditions, I look for an actor who is the whole package: Not only the actor who's got "It," but the actor who gets it (i.e. the actor who is appealing enough for an audience to stick with no matter how annoying while also being natural within the character's skin). Inevitably, people walk into casting sessions that you recognize from features and favorite television shows, and either you're ecstatic -- we can get her? I LOVE HER! -- or you mentally cringe. But you go through the process with an open mind. Sometimes your favorite person disappoints. Sometimes that guy who you believe in your heart-of-hearts is the reason why your favorite show got cancelled and you swore a blood oath you would destroy if you ever met him, does a surprisingly good job. After we watch several auditions for each part, we have conversations about who we liked, what we know of their body of work, and make educated guesses on how we think they would work within the confines of the character. After we come to a consensus, we write an email to the director and the casting director. Usually, about 24-hours later, the director comes back with "ideas." Ugh. Collaboration tries my patience. Inevitably, the director gets his way. Not because he's persuasive enough to convince us that he's right, and we're wrong, but because I work with producers who are directors and they "respect" the director's authority. Personally, I'm a free-market person and if I'm giving you ten million dollars to create my product, I want that product to look like I tell you, and if you won't do it, I'll find someone who can. If I'm looking for an auteur, I'll call Tarantino. Welcome to television, baby.

For the last two weeks, we've had callbacks and auditioned more people in Atlanta and Houston. We still haven't come to a consensus with the director. However, since production starts in a week, we're starting to give in to him. I guess these guys - and I mean, guys. When I use the pronoun "he" to describe the director, I mean "he" as in male because in five years of doing this, only one has been female. One. - know that if he just keeps debating (i.e. stalling) without making an offer to anyone, he'll eventually win because the money is now in play and it's not his money and eventually the clock runs out and we will need an actor on set now. I hate producing! Anyway, I heard one of the producers talking to the director on the phone yesterday and it sounded like he was negotiating. We'll give you your model-turned-actress if we can have our preferred gumpy, weirdo in the lead kid role. I was very disappointed. However, do not despair for me, dear Reader. We have a yellow light - soon to turn green - on our third movie of the season, and it is another large ensemble cast, and I have a brilliant idea for the lead! I love producing!

The New News

I'm a bit over the 24-hour "news" cycle. And by news, I mean crap that now registers as important information for all Americans to know, but really is just gossip. For instance, is it really important for Americans to know that James Tate in Shelton, Connecticut made a romantic gesture by asking a girl to the Junior Prom by defacing public property and thereby got suspended? Well, the good people at the Nightly News thought so. This, however, should have just stayed on the Walls of all those Shelton H.S. kids FB pages, and did not necessitate the principal to call a press conference. Hey, Brian Williams, this is not the same as using Twitter to topple a repressive regime in Egypt. Are we going to have a follow-up story on Mr. Tate next year on the method he used to ask a girl to the Senior Prom? Because Enquiring minds want to know!

I also do not care that Ashton Kutcher is replacing Charlie Sheen on that awful Chuck Lorre show. This does not qualify as news. It just doesn't. Did Walter Cronkite report on Dick Sergant taking over for Dick York on Bewitched? No. Why? Because it's not news.

I do want to know when the lunatic, fringe became valid, however. We, the People, used to mock and roll our collective eyes at anyone who claimed to have seen Big Foot. Now when the President of the United States shows his birth certificate, we don't believe him and we have to have hours of television time devoted to debating whether a birth certificate from the, well, not-so-great state of Hawaii is valid since Hawaii obviously doesn't care about the Constitution as much as Arizona. I'm not for bullying in the general sense, but a beat down -- or at the very least a beat back -- is in order. But if there's air time to be filled, well why not fill it with complete and utter nonsense and give everyone a shot at being heard? Answer: Because these people are insane. And I don't mean insane = stupid, I mean insane = crazy. When a homeless guy comes up to me on the side of the road and tells me that aliens planted an antennae in his ear, I don't interview the guy and ask him when this occurred and what the aliens looked like, I ask him if he took his meds. Why? Because that is reasonable thing to do. It is unreasonable, not to mention dangerous, to engage and encourage a delusion. That is not news; it's not even entertainment. It is cynical and even slightly cruel.

Last, am I the only person who thought it was weird that I could tune in to CNN on Friday for the Royal Wedding and tune back in forty-eight hours later to see that Osama bin Laden had been killed? It seems like these two events are diametrically opposed and yet there was one channel for both.

Now That's a Uniform

As a fan of Friday Night Lights and the character of Tyra on said show, Miss Adrianne Palicki has my good will going into her new venture and, yes, I will be tuning in to watch the David E. Kelley reboot of Woman Woman. However, after seeing the new costume (left), I have one worry: Is she really going to run in that bustier? I've worn strapless dresses with the same decolletage in weddings, and let me tell you, one, good "throw your hands up and shout!" and Hello, ladies! One can only hope that this version is the "Formal Ceremony" uniform other than the everyday, work version. Like, you know, the Marine Corps "dress blues" and the Navy's "dress whites". Because regardless that sister is a mythological, Amazonian princess, she's going to be spending a lot of time trying to keep the girls in place and her top up. Not to mention that running in spiked boots will hamper speed and agility, and her ability to do the job to her fullest capabilites. As a modern Wonder Woman, she'd be thinking about these things...at least, her female audience would.

Thought Jumble

These types of posts aren't really the type of posts I like to compose, but sometimes I feel like a billion things are clambering inside my head and it actually helps to spit them out here:

READ: Did you read the Tina Fey article in The New Yorker? Andi says that everyone thinks that they're Tina Fey or Liz Lemon, but I really do think that she and I would be exceptional friends because, quite frankly, every time I watch 30 Rock, there is something there that I've already thought. We're soul mates. My favorite line from the article? "The definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore." Ahh, so true. Thank you, Ms. Fey.

HEARD: The Charlie Sheen rant on the radio. Oh. My. God. The very saddest thing about this is that we are watching yet another drug addict self destruct in front of us, and there's nothing we can do about it because this kind of self-destruction has been served up for so long that we make reality shows about it giving these people more money to continue the behavior. With that said, it's the gladiators and public executions all over again, isn't it? Some people want to watch the debacle. Anna Nicole Smith? Michael Jackson? Heath Ledger? For some reason, we like it when the rich and famous die...on our watch. We like to shake our moralistic heads and tut-tut. What makes my stomach clench over this one is that I've met both his dad and his unfamous brother who is a really nice guy, and I would love to send him a note to say how sorry I am that his family is going through this considering I know what its like to have addicts in the family. However, this is Hollywood and I don't want him to think that I'm using a media circus to leverage a relationship. Showbusiness is sick.

DREAMT: I had a strange dream where I met Jeremy Renner while he was playing basketball, and I thought he was a really nice guy, but I couldn't date him because he was the ex-boyfriend of a good friend/roommate of mine. I woke up feeling heart broken.

FELT: Lately, I feel like if my 14-year old self could see me now, she would be extraordinarily disappointed in us."Why are we not rich, famous, married, or a mom? Why are we 0 for 4? WHAT DID YOU DO?! [under her breath] loser." Unfortunately, I keep wondering how to change all this, and -- quite frankly -- I'm at a loss. Any suggestions short of slut'ing it up on a Friday night will be considered.

EMAILED: I sent out a blanket email to all my L.A. friends asking them to do stuff with me. While majority of the people were enthusiastic about their own participation, I still don't have plans until this spring. I think this is really funny because I grew up in Connecticut which has gotten an inordinate amount of snow this year, and yet Californians think that 60-degree whether is too cold. Granted, the gardens (any place that needs flora and/or fauna) should be enjoyed only in those seasons when they, you know, bloom. But the rest of it just feels like laziness on all our parts.

REALIZED: I will have owned my car for a year next month. I have enjoyed not worrying about a vehicle for this entire time, and incidentally, I'm only at 6,ooo miles. *Sigh* It's like a mental message.

KNOW: I'm not supposed to say anything yet, but... Gerard Butler is in my backyard right now. No, I'm not lying. They are using my landlady's house for PSAs, and Gerry, Sean Penn, and some athlete I don't know are all there. They are using my parking space. I left my place at 8:30 this morning, and I was hoping against all hope that he would be arriving then. There was a technician waiting for him, but he hadn't arrived yet, and destiny has deprived me once again. Fickle, Fate! I'm not a fame whore, and I know he's a bastard, but honestly, there is always the one that you would lose your morals for.

Amaze Me

I just got done reading an amazing article about an amazing new show that will amaze their amazing audiences. Am I the only one who has noticed that everything that used to be fantastic, great, radical, wicked, awesome, cool, and groovy is now amazing? And why is it that this particular variation of "I like it a lot and recommend it to you" actually grates on me? I feel like I hear it all the time. Everything is now amazing. From this sandwich to those jeans to that movie and your ass, everything has become over-the-top, too-good-to-be-true, the best thing EVER. Oh, hyperbole...why won't you die?!

This irritation drove me to Merriam-Webster so I can actually look up the meaning of amaze:

Amaze, from the the Middle English amasen from the Old English a-masian meaning "to confuse." Current definition? (1) to perplex or bewilder. (2) to fill with wonder.

OK, so that new cheese shop fills you with wonder, I'm guessing, because if you're perplexed or bewildered, you're probably from the former Soviet Union and it's 1992. What does wonder mean? Good question.

Wonder, from the German wunder [helpful, M-W, really helpful]. (1) a cause of astonishment or admiration. (2) a quality of exciting amazed admiration [talk about hyperbole. I feel there should be three exclamations after that one]. (3) rapt attention at something awesomely mysterious or new to one's experience.

Wow. Let's just say for arguments sake, you mean (1) a cause of admiration. What does admire mean?

Admire from Middle French (admire is admire in French) and means to marvel in both English and French. On to marvel...

Marvel doesn't seem to have a root language, but it means (1) to become filled with surprise, wonder, or amazed curiosity. (2) to feel astonished or perplexed.

Oy, one more then:

Astonish from the Anglo-French to stun and the Latin to thunder. Current definition is to strike with sudden and usually great surprise.

Gosh, a lot of these just keep going back-and-forth, don't they?

So, we seem to have quickly become a country that is greatly surprised by lots of awesomely mysterious new experiences. Like, you know, cupcakes.

Airhead

Well, good thing I didn't have a blog resolution for 2011, because I would be failing miserably right now!

Actually, I probably wouldn't be writing now, either if it wasn't for a blank space in my memory. I came over here to see which airlines I've had issue with in the past. Oh, how I do love to write about airline ineptitude! You see, I'm going to New Orleans for Easter this year and none of my beloved smaller airlines fly into the Big Easy meaning I have to take a national carrier. Which would be fine except Delta's flight arrives at midnight! GAH! The next in line for me is American Airlines, but it doesn't seem that LA to NOLA is an AA route, leaving me with United. The problem with United is I can't seem to remember if I hate it! I had a rather awful experience a few years ago trying to fly into South Carolina, and I'll be damned if I can recall whether it was United or US Air. So, I came to my blog. Unfortunately, I didn't start posting on Blogger until 2008, and I think the South Carolina trip was in 2007. Which means that rampage post -- and it was a rampage -- was on my MySpace blog which I deleted along with my MySpace account. Ce la vie. What I did find, however, was a post in 2008 about my Christmas flight into Connecticut. That was US Air. Other than a couple of changes to flight times, I do remember it was an OK experience. So, I'm thinking it was United that gave me the repressed memory.

What have I learned from this? First, keep all blog posts no matter where they were initially written. And second, you will probably continue to hear about my flight issues as they arise because blogging about it will be the only way to keep my memories fresh, my rage in tact, and my vengeance engaged.

Happy Birthday, Betty White

On January 30th, we will be airing our 241st movie starring Betty White. I recently got back from a trip to Kansas City where we screened the film for our executives. We also brought Betty White in to hob-nob. However, it was also Betty's birthday. Being the Crown, we just couldn't let that go by, could we? Cue the Gospel Choir, confetti canons, and the mailbox prop from the movie in which a very special birthday card was waiting.

That's me in the front row in between Betty and the mailbox with my hands over my face. I thought the confetti canons were going to give the birthday girl a heart attack...

To 2011

Last week, I read all fifty-one posts of 2010 before writing the last entry, and I'm pleased to say that I've kept resolution #1 of 2010: write a blog at least once a week. While technically, I didn't write every week, I wrote enough to create fifty-two posts and I'm counting that in the Win Column. If you don't like it, start your own blog and make your own resolutions.

Unlike a diary or journal, I do not allow myself to wallow in self-pity or post deep-anxiety in my blog. I do not post some of my more -- shall we say -- less charitable thoughts. While I try to be honest, I also try to be hopeful and thoughtful. The upside of this is that it then allows me to be analytical at the end of the year about my own day-to-day analysis. Because I'm not spattering the blog with my emotions, I'm able to get a clearer understanding of my own thought process. This is sounding very psycho-analytical here, but I am getting to a point. What 2010 showed me was this:

*I still have not separated my eating habits from my financial life. When I feel I have money, I feel I can take better care of my self. After the car issue, I sat at home and ate my anxiety. While I kept my gym membership and had time to go to the gym, I chose to sit on the couch and eat comfort food. As I result, I gained twenty pounds and feel unattractive and unable to engage in the world. (I dreaded going home because I was going to want to hop in pictures with my gorgeous little nieces, but I was going to be unhappy with every picture taken. As a result, I didn't get many and I always feel like I'm cheating my nieces of something. It's bad enough I live miles away, but to purposely cut myself out of the moments of their lives because I don't like the way I look is selfish and cruel.)

*I do better with goals than without them. For all intents and purposes, I am a proactive person. Therefore, if I have no end game in sight, I sit around waiting for something to fall from the sky. I did this in my early twenties and it's how I became a cop. While I wouldn't trade in my cop experience, I should have done what I really wanted which was to move to California.

*I miss close relationships.

Therefore, my resolutions for 2011 are thus:

First Resolution, 2011: Separate my body from my emotions. At the ripe age of 37, it's about time that I realize that I have to take care of my body which is completely different than taking charge of it. This feels very difficult right now because I'm suffering from a cold that makes my head feel like it's going to pop off with the next cough, but no more excuses. To be perfectly blunt, I don't think about my body as anything else than something to be adorned and objectified. So, I've treated my body as if it's a nuisance instead of a very important (and major) piece of myself. I'm not going to be cliche and say, "this is the year I get healthy!" -- which I always think is a metaphor for "THIS is the year I stick to the diet and get sexy so that other people find me attractive!" But this is the year that I claim my body for me. This is going to be a difficult resolution for me, but it's something that I have to get straight in my head.

Second Resolution, 2011: Finish two more screenplays or one book. In 2010, I sent out my picture book to one agent and got rejected. However, I'm going to say that I completed Resolution #2 and #3 of 2010, because it involved writing more and believing in my self. This year's resolution is more about moving forward with my writing life as a whole. Whether I decide to try to sell a screenplay or a book, or possibly getting a job as a writer on a television show, it's important that I start thinking about writing as a way of life instead of as a hobby.

Third Resolution, 2011: Take more opportunities to be social even if that means extending invitations myself. There is no reason why I can't do a weekend trip a month, or have that coffee with that kid I went to grammar school with, or plant trees with Tree People, or join a work colleague at Habitat for Humanity. In my waxing and waning about staying in L.A. or going back east, I've neglected the relationships I actually have on the west coast. Sure, my family and some of my most favorite people live in NYC and Connecticut, but I do have the capability to make close friendships here. In fact, I already have a few very good friends who do live here -- and who I practically ignored through 2010 -- not to mention all those New Yorkers who moved to Seattle and my numerous pledges to get up there and visit them. So instead of whiney about what I'm missing, I'm going to try to do better with what I have, and maybe grow my contacts list here.

I will admit that I made pretty doable resolutions for 2010. I wanted to be able to check them off at the end of the year like an errand check list. Milk, pantyhose, stamps...CHECK! But these are going to be harder because they are asking me to step outside of my normal head space and to take a greater chance on the world around me. They are asking me to risk rejection and failure, two things I have always avoided. So, with that in mind, I ask you to think good thoughts for me and be charitable if you see me failing. It's not easy to change, but it's possible.

Here's to 2011 and possibilities.
Cheers!