It's My Birthday, Too

Today is my birthday. And these are things I'm thinking:

1. I love cupcakes.
2. What's the chances of me winning the lottery today? I'm going to buy a ticket just in case.
3. I had a lovely dream last night that included a very nice looking man...and a professional football team photo shoot (I don't know).
4. I would like to go to the beach and read all day, but then again spending my birthday alone seems pathetic even if it is what I would like to do.
5. I need to buy that Tommy Hilfiger dress I tried on three weeks ago.
6. I have now told about twenty people that I have no plans for my tonight, but secretly I do. It involves a delicate salad and a glass of champagne. But that sounds boring and people just wouldn't understand, so I refuse to admit to it.
7. I can't decide whether I want to see Despicable Me or Salt this weekend. Why do these decisions seem to have more weight around my birthday?
8. I don't know where I want to go to lunch and in about one hour this will be all anyone will ask me.
9. This year, I will lose weight!
10. I forgot my cell phone at home (it was plugged in). I don't know what's worse: dreading all the missed calls and texts or getting home and realizing no one called me.

Sister Gaga

I recently watched the new Lady Gaga video, Alejandro. It reminded me a lot of the Madonna videos from the 1990s, and maybe even a little of the event videos of Michael Jackson. It seems we have found the heir apparent and it wasn't Justin, Usher, or Brittany, baby. Of course, Gaga is like Madonna is other ways, too, but her desire to make "performance art" might just be another way to say "reinvention" and "pushing boundaries" which is totally the Material Girl.

While watching the video, I couldn't help but to think of Like a Prayer. I don't know if anyone went ballistic over the obvious nun/martyr nod in Alejandro, but I do recall the rage that Madge encountered by showing a black Jesus and some burning crosses. However, as a Catholic, I'm pretty sensitive to Catholic symbology, and I found it very interesting that both Ms. Ciccone and Ms. Germanotta -- Roman Catholics -- chose to go balls out for their Mother Church. Because, basically, both videos are a big middle finger to its religious rhetoric and dogma. Lots of blasphemy and sacrilege in both. Makes me nervously giggle, "You're sooo going to Hell!" Like when DeeDee and Shannon used to wear dangle'ly earrings and blue eyeshadow to school. (H. E. Double L.) But it also made me question why Catholicism is such a breeding ground for artistic expression. What is it about it's restraints that causes some Catholics to want to push back against the wall? Maybe it's the fact that so much art has been made in the name of the Church. Maybe its the fact that the imagery is so iconic that its easier to reference. Maybe it is the repression of self and self-flagellation martyrdom. I don't know. But it is quite fascinating when you start to really think about it.

I like that there is a new artist out there that is making music videos relevant again. (OK, somewhat relevant. More like entertaining, but let's not split hairs.) And regardless of the fact that her soul is so obviously damned, I'll be waiting to see what she does next.

Out of It

I was interviewing a young, just-out-of-college twenty-something-year old who mentioned that she worked for some rapper's indie label, and I had no clue who she was talking about. However, my equally young but-not-as-young-as-the-interviewee colleague knew exactly who she was talking about. As my colleague is not exactly a hip, edgy urbanite who would know who an obscure rapper is, he must be popular enough to have penetrating the In The Know zeitgeist. It seems, I am now officially Out of The Know. According to all marketers and advertisers, once you're on the other side of 34, you are no longer a desirable demographic. IE, your expendable cash is now going towards mortgages, college tuition, and whatever insane thing your 10-year old harps and harps and harps on you to buy for them. You see, you're spending money on Nike sneakers and iPads, but they're not for you. They are for the under-35 set. So, there it is. One day, you're In, the next birth day you're Out.

I've been thinking about age a lot lately, mostly because my birthday is coming up, and it seems like every year after I turned thirty, I've gotten into a weird head space right as July approaches. I get all philosophical and start questioning my life path and more pointedly what I have or haven't done in a year and what's different this year than last. I like when there's a noticeable difference (unless that difference is a larger pant size). And get really funny and introspective when there's not. DD recently noticed that I'm crankier at work. (Mostly, because I've somehow managed to become the office manager.) And suggested that I need to take a vacation. But it's not a vacation that I need really. It's a shift, mentally, towards something else. What it is, I haven't a clue, and I'm not being disingenuous and holding back on you. Most times, I think it's a husband and kids. Afterall, I'm over 35, I should have those by now according to my culture. Sometimes I think it's more money as the over 35 set should be in middle management. Too bad middle management pay hasn't kept up with middle class consumerism. Other times, I think it's the distance between me and my family. But I used to think that I was unhappy because I was too close to those very same people, so, *shrug* who knows? For the most part, I'm just feeling around in the dark here, probably like most of you.

My young colleague came into my office after the interview was over and wanted to assure me that I wasn't "that old." She went on to say that I don't even look my age. I look much younger! (She really is a darling.) However, how do you explain to a Los Angeles-cenric twenty-four-year old, it's not your thirty-six-going-on-thirty-seven looks that you're stressed about (though stress will do a number on them, so I might want to think about that vacation)? No, I worry about relevance, what my life means, whether something wonderful passed me by when I wasn't looking, and if, possibly, my chances for something fulfilling dwindles the closer to forty I get. It's the kinda thing that might get me a blank look and that would really depress me.

Life isn't easy. Not for anyone. And most of us can blame our height, our weight, our sex or sexual orientation, our skin color or hair color, our religion, our financial situation, and -- yes -- even our age, but I don't think anyone is walking around with it easy. I guess, it's recognizing that life is hard in general and trying to make the best of what you do have. In my case, there's nothing stopping me from going anywhere or trying something new. I'm healthy, I'm smart, and according to my young colleague, I'm young looking. Maybe I don't know rappers any more, my pop culture references are ten years out of date, and advertisers are trying to appeal to my non-existent children instead of me, but I'm OK with that. Its actually the nice thing about age that I have embraced completely and totally: I don't care about those things anymore. And its a relief.

I Wonder...

Since the rise of the comic book movie franchise, people have been clamoring for the one iconic super hero who has never been given a movie of his -- actually, her -- own. In the great comic book canon, Batman, Superman, Spider-man, Hulk, and, yes, Wonder Woman are pretty much the ones we Gen-Xers know and idolize. I could've cared less about the Fantastic Four and X-Men. However, both have had a couple of movies now with X-Men digging further back to do more creation movies (next up? The White Queen, Emma Frost). They are re-starting (again) the Spider-man franchise, bringing Peter Parker back to high school. The Hulk has been made twice, and now they're talking about a third one because obviously they didn't get it right with Ang Lee or Edward Norton. Batman has had two very successful franchises now, with more Nolan to come. And there are whispers about another possible Superman. But no Wonder Woman. The very fact that the Green Hornet and Captain America are getting movies before the lady is just a league of injustice to mankind. (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)


The argument has been that WW has had many, many incarnations. That every time the definition of "She's Hot" changed, the great comic gods scrapped the current lady lasso'er and started again. So, from Amazonian princess to goddess (special like Superman) to Emma Peel'ish super spy (not special like Batman), she was started and re-started again. So, if they were going to do a movie, which generation of Wonder Woman fan would they appeal to? (Which is total b.s. as the Chris Nolan's Batman franchise plays within a defined universe without catering to the fanboys and its a huge, huge hit with everyone.) Last year, there was a great surge of interest in a WW movie, and rumor after rumor was heard around town about the imminent Wonder Woman film. Then, suddenly, a web site appeared to reveal that a movie was underway and someone had been cast. Who was it? Megan Fox! A great uproar went up and Warner Bros. (who owns all live action DC Comic heroes) quickly sent out a release saying that it was a hoax.


In the midst of all this hoopla over comic book movie franchises, DC Comics must have gotten the brilliant idea to re-start the Wonder Woman story all over again, with a new outfit to match. Is it me, or does she look a lot like Megan Fox?

Open Door, Closed Mind

I am currently hiring for a position within my company. I have a feeling that I might have missed my calling as an HR hiring agent because I kinda like reading resumes and playing god with people's lives. This is probably not surprising to anyone who knows me. However, in this capacity as She Who Holds The Power, I've noticed some things:

First, I'm a snob. Not an Ivy League snob, but an anti-California snob. I'm always looking for the outsiders. I don't want someone who went to USC and majored in film because I don't care what your teacher said on the subject and, quite frankly, I hired you to answer the phone and not give me your two cents on how being a receptionist is just a rung on your way to becoming President of the Universe. I used to think that, too. Now I'm in middle-management hiring the Receptionist. I like people who went to college in Indiana and majored in accounting. Someone like that is going to be grateful to get their foot in the door and will get an agent a coffee without trying to pitch their latest screenplay. At the end of the day, I like underdogs. Underdogs are scrappy and willing to take lumps and get paid crap for it. I also like east coasters. If you were brought up anywhere between Philadelphia and Bangor, you're probably going to get an interview with me. In the three times I've interviewed, I've nominated two girls from Connecticut, both of them ultimately got the job. (That's because Nutmeggers rock! But that might just be a personal bias. Ahem...)

Second, looking at some of these resumes makes me sad. I want to know how someone got their B.A. but no one bothered to tell them HOW to get a job. Academia is all well and good if it actually does what it's supposed to: prepare you to go out into the world and become a productive member of society. Part of being a productive member of society is gaining employment and keeping it. If you don't know that you're supposed to start a cover letter with To Whom It May Concern or Dear Sir or Madam and not Hi! then all is lost in polite civilization. Additionally, your resume should not be a list of jobs and titles, but jobs, titles, dates of employment, and a list of duties. Seriously, some of this is pathetic and not in a condescending, disgusted way, but in a "this poor child is $100,000 in debt to Sallie Mae and she's never going to get a job in corporate America!" way. I think every University should hand out What Color Is Your Parachute with every diploma. Some direction is needed.

Third, I'm aghast at the lackadaisical method some people respond to getting a call back for an interview. Some people really want a job. Other people don't seem all that happy that you did call them back. Have I interviewed for jobs I really didn't care if I got or not? Sure. But I'm always grateful for the opportunity.

Last, I am an awful awful person. I get a resume, read it several times, speculate on the fabulousness of the person who had these experiences and mentally hire them on the written spot only to instantly recoil the minute they enter the conference room. Jeans to an interview. Strapless summer dresses. Badly fitted clothing. Hair in the face. Crippling shyness. Bad posture. And, yes, unattractiveness (which makes me feel like a horrible, horrible person!). I actually will send some of these people through to the next round of interviews just to see if others think that the resume balances it all out. It doesn't. Which means we're all horrible, horrible people.

With that said, if you know an east coaster who went to an out-of-state college looking to break into the business, send me their resume. If they're from Connecticut, dress well, and remotely attractive, they'll probably get the job.

Must List

I'm reading the current issue of EW right now, and I've reached their "Must List." The "Must List" is the ten things this week that the editors of EW think are important for any pop culture addict to be in the know about. Which gave me the idea for this entry especially since I agreed with most of the Must. So today, I'm writing my Must Watch list.

1) So You Think You Can Dance. This is the only reality show that I have left in my ouerve. I used to watch Project Runway but then it moved to Lifetime, and I can't seem to find it any more. And America's Next Top Model, but then they started casting skanky hos that have back story but no real ability to be a model. OK, so maybe that's what it always was, but when the girls turned stupid and skanky, I was done. But! SYTYCD -- in fan-speak -- is unlike any other reality show as most of its contestants have talent and the judges actually judge and don't just give their opinion leaving it up to 12-year olds to crown their favorite boyfriend of the week. At least, not until the last few episodes. Until then, Nigel treats the contestants like they are in a real chorus line, or at least, in The Chorus Line, and it feels authentic somehow.

2) Huge. It's a new show on ABC Family about an obese girl who is sent to fat camp by her parents. To her, the fat camp is an indictment and rejection by her parents. But the best thing about this show is the fact that they don't tip-toe around the different emotions that go into over-eating, and they are not shy about showing vulnerability, self-hatred, and desperate hope for change. The characters are never judged from an outsiders' point of view and easy fat jokes are never made at the expense of a character. It is a strangely sensitive show that wraps up tidily with teenage angst. And it's probably exactly the right format to address the "Fat Issues" in this country.

3) True Blood. As Freud says, vampires represent a repressed desire for sex. But it doesn't need to be when watching True Blood. Good Lord! The show is girl porn. Mostly because of the jokes. The gratutious nudity, the outlandish storylines, and the so-over-the-top-they-remind-me-of-my-family characterizations make this some of the best popcorn viewing on TV. (That is, until someone violently rapes their vampire ex-girlfriend, twisting her head around in the middle of it while she confesses her love for him. Um, ew.)

4) Pawn Stars. OK, so maybe I lied a bit about SYTYCD as Pawn Stars is definitely a reality TV show, it's more like a cross between Antiques Roadshow and COPS. I don't DVR it like I do SYTYCD, but if you catch it on the History Channel on a random weekend, I swear you'll be mystified. "What's this: a big, tattooed lunk discussing a Revoltionary War Bond printed by silver-smither Paul Revere with a guy who wants to sell it for a Gibson guitar? Where am I?" Vegas, baby. It's crazy.

5) Mad Men. It's not on yet, but I'm counting the days -- 18! -- until it's back on. Last night, AMC did us all a favor by re-airing the pilot -- I forgot that Peggy got birth control pills, no wonder she thought "it" was impossible -- and some of the other more pivotal episodes from that first season. By 11PM last night, I wanted to watch all three seasons all over again. (Except I don't own them on DVD. Now would be the perfect time to remind you that I'm also counting the days -- 16! -- until my birthday. Ahem).

6) Toy Story 3. It's in the movie theaters, so you can't enjoy it from the convenience of your own home, but let me tell you something, Pixar is making the best films. Not the best animation films, but the best film you will see in a long time. TS3 was written by the scribe of Little Miss Sunshine and it's storyline is so poignant that anyone who went from childhood to adulthood and has dealt with nostaligia will probably bawl their eyes out at the end. It seems ridiculous to say that I cried at a cartoon, but they got me last year with Up! And they got me again this year. Loved. It. It's not often that I would be willing to pay for a movie twice, but I would probably do it here.

7) Pinkberry: The Movie 3D. This quirky video was put together by William Morris/Endeavor. I don't know why they did it, but I get the feeling someone was putting their tongue firmly in their cheek and trying to make a point to the higher ups...

8) John Adams. For Fourth of July, I put in my copy of HBO's John Adams mini-series. Yes, I watched all seven episodes over the last three days. And by 5PM yesterday, I was crying all over again. (That last episode is a killer!) But it reminded me of how well it was done and how -- when done right -- a mini-series is a Must Watch event. Netflick it if you haven't seen it. From production values to the acting, it's very well done.

Alright, so I couldn't come up with ten Must Watch things, but a list of eight isn't too bad. At the very least, you can click on that Pinkberry link now and get a three minute laugh.

Illumination

It's Fourth of July yet again, and I am thinking about the second President of the United States, John Adams. Last year, Hugh asked me why Americans make a big deal out of Independence Day, and I didn't have an answer for him. However, in the meantime, I stumbled along this quote from John to his beloved wife Abigail:

The second day of July, 1776,* will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.

Add in a hamburger, my mother's potato salad, a bottle of light beer, and a pool, and I'm right there with you, Johnny. Happy 4th, everyone!

(*the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 2, 1776. It would take two days to ratify it, making the official birth date of America, July 4, 1776.)