That's me in the front row in between Betty and the mailbox with my hands over my face. I thought the confetti canons were going to give the birthday girl a heart attack...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Happy Birthday, Betty White
On January 30th, we will be airing our 241st movie starring Betty White. I recently got back from a trip to Kansas City where we screened the film for our executives. We also brought Betty White in to hob-nob. However, it was also Betty's birthday. Being the Crown, we just couldn't let that go by, could we? Cue the Gospel Choir, confetti canons, and the mailbox prop from the movie in which a very special birthday card was waiting.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
To 2011
Last week, I read all fifty-one posts of 2010 before writing the last entry, and I'm pleased to say that I've kept resolution #1 of 2010: write a blog at least once a week. While technically, I didn't write every week, I wrote enough to create fifty-two posts and I'm counting that in the Win Column. If you don't like it, start your own blog and make your own resolutions.
Unlike a diary or journal, I do not allow myself to wallow in self-pity or post deep-anxiety in my blog. I do not post some of my more -- shall we say -- less charitable thoughts. While I try to be honest, I also try to be hopeful and thoughtful. The upside of this is that it then allows me to be analytical at the end of the year about my own day-to-day analysis. Because I'm not spattering the blog with my emotions, I'm able to get a clearer understanding of my own thought process. This is sounding very psycho-analytical here, but I am getting to a point. What 2010 showed me was this:
*I still have not separated my eating habits from my financial life. When I feel I have money, I feel I can take better care of my self. After the car issue, I sat at home and ate my anxiety. While I kept my gym membership and had time to go to the gym, I chose to sit on the couch and eat comfort food. As I result, I gained twenty pounds and feel unattractive and unable to engage in the world. (I dreaded going home because I was going to want to hop in pictures with my gorgeous little nieces, but I was going to be unhappy with every picture taken. As a result, I didn't get many and I always feel like I'm cheating my nieces of something. It's bad enough I live miles away, but to purposely cut myself out of the moments of their lives because I don't like the way I look is selfish and cruel.)
*I do better with goals than without them. For all intents and purposes, I am a proactive person. Therefore, if I have no end game in sight, I sit around waiting for something to fall from the sky. I did this in my early twenties and it's how I became a cop. While I wouldn't trade in my cop experience, I should have done what I really wanted which was to move to California.
*I miss close relationships.
Therefore, my resolutions for 2011 are thus:
First Resolution, 2011: Separate my body from my emotions. At the ripe age of 37, it's about time that I realize that I have to take care of my body which is completely different than taking charge of it. This feels very difficult right now because I'm suffering from a cold that makes my head feel like it's going to pop off with the next cough, but no more excuses. To be perfectly blunt, I don't think about my body as anything else than something to be adorned and objectified. So, I've treated my body as if it's a nuisance instead of a very important (and major) piece of myself. I'm not going to be cliche and say, "this is the year I get healthy!" -- which I always think is a metaphor for "THIS is the year I stick to the diet and get sexy so that other people find me attractive!" But this is the year that I claim my body for me. This is going to be a difficult resolution for me, but it's something that I have to get straight in my head.
Second Resolution, 2011: Finish two more screenplays or one book. In 2010, I sent out my picture book to one agent and got rejected. However, I'm going to say that I completed Resolution #2 and #3 of 2010, because it involved writing more and believing in my self. This year's resolution is more about moving forward with my writing life as a whole. Whether I decide to try to sell a screenplay or a book, or possibly getting a job as a writer on a television show, it's important that I start thinking about writing as a way of life instead of as a hobby.
Third Resolution, 2011: Take more opportunities to be social even if that means extending invitations myself. There is no reason why I can't do a weekend trip a month, or have that coffee with that kid I went to grammar school with, or plant trees with Tree People, or join a work colleague at Habitat for Humanity. In my waxing and waning about staying in L.A. or going back east, I've neglected the relationships I actually have on the west coast. Sure, my family and some of my most favorite people live in NYC and Connecticut, but I do have the capability to make close friendships here. In fact, I already have a few very good friends who do live here -- and who I practically ignored through 2010 -- not to mention all those New Yorkers who moved to Seattle and my numerous pledges to get up there and visit them. So instead of whiney about what I'm missing, I'm going to try to do better with what I have, and maybe grow my contacts list here.
I will admit that I made pretty doable resolutions for 2010. I wanted to be able to check them off at the end of the year like an errand check list. Milk, pantyhose, stamps...CHECK! But these are going to be harder because they are asking me to step outside of my normal head space and to take a greater chance on the world around me. They are asking me to risk rejection and failure, two things I have always avoided. So, with that in mind, I ask you to think good thoughts for me and be charitable if you see me failing. It's not easy to change, but it's possible.
Here's to 2011 and possibilities.
Cheers!
Unlike a diary or journal, I do not allow myself to wallow in self-pity or post deep-anxiety in my blog. I do not post some of my more -- shall we say -- less charitable thoughts. While I try to be honest, I also try to be hopeful and thoughtful. The upside of this is that it then allows me to be analytical at the end of the year about my own day-to-day analysis. Because I'm not spattering the blog with my emotions, I'm able to get a clearer understanding of my own thought process. This is sounding very psycho-analytical here, but I am getting to a point. What 2010 showed me was this:
*I still have not separated my eating habits from my financial life. When I feel I have money, I feel I can take better care of my self. After the car issue, I sat at home and ate my anxiety. While I kept my gym membership and had time to go to the gym, I chose to sit on the couch and eat comfort food. As I result, I gained twenty pounds and feel unattractive and unable to engage in the world. (I dreaded going home because I was going to want to hop in pictures with my gorgeous little nieces, but I was going to be unhappy with every picture taken. As a result, I didn't get many and I always feel like I'm cheating my nieces of something. It's bad enough I live miles away, but to purposely cut myself out of the moments of their lives because I don't like the way I look is selfish and cruel.)
*I do better with goals than without them. For all intents and purposes, I am a proactive person. Therefore, if I have no end game in sight, I sit around waiting for something to fall from the sky. I did this in my early twenties and it's how I became a cop. While I wouldn't trade in my cop experience, I should have done what I really wanted which was to move to California.
*I miss close relationships.
Therefore, my resolutions for 2011 are thus:
First Resolution, 2011: Separate my body from my emotions. At the ripe age of 37, it's about time that I realize that I have to take care of my body which is completely different than taking charge of it. This feels very difficult right now because I'm suffering from a cold that makes my head feel like it's going to pop off with the next cough, but no more excuses. To be perfectly blunt, I don't think about my body as anything else than something to be adorned and objectified. So, I've treated my body as if it's a nuisance instead of a very important (and major) piece of myself. I'm not going to be cliche and say, "this is the year I get healthy!" -- which I always think is a metaphor for "THIS is the year I stick to the diet and get sexy so that other people find me attractive!" But this is the year that I claim my body for me. This is going to be a difficult resolution for me, but it's something that I have to get straight in my head.
Second Resolution, 2011: Finish two more screenplays or one book. In 2010, I sent out my picture book to one agent and got rejected. However, I'm going to say that I completed Resolution #2 and #3 of 2010, because it involved writing more and believing in my self. This year's resolution is more about moving forward with my writing life as a whole. Whether I decide to try to sell a screenplay or a book, or possibly getting a job as a writer on a television show, it's important that I start thinking about writing as a way of life instead of as a hobby.
Third Resolution, 2011: Take more opportunities to be social even if that means extending invitations myself. There is no reason why I can't do a weekend trip a month, or have that coffee with that kid I went to grammar school with, or plant trees with Tree People, or join a work colleague at Habitat for Humanity. In my waxing and waning about staying in L.A. or going back east, I've neglected the relationships I actually have on the west coast. Sure, my family and some of my most favorite people live in NYC and Connecticut, but I do have the capability to make close friendships here. In fact, I already have a few very good friends who do live here -- and who I practically ignored through 2010 -- not to mention all those New Yorkers who moved to Seattle and my numerous pledges to get up there and visit them. So instead of whiney about what I'm missing, I'm going to try to do better with what I have, and maybe grow my contacts list here.
I will admit that I made pretty doable resolutions for 2010. I wanted to be able to check them off at the end of the year like an errand check list. Milk, pantyhose, stamps...CHECK! But these are going to be harder because they are asking me to step outside of my normal head space and to take a greater chance on the world around me. They are asking me to risk rejection and failure, two things I have always avoided. So, with that in mind, I ask you to think good thoughts for me and be charitable if you see me failing. It's not easy to change, but it's possible.
Here's to 2011 and possibilities.
Cheers!
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