Only In Hollywood

We have a new movie that’s airing this Sunday on CBS. It stars Jeff Daniels and Marlee Matlin as a couple who get torn apart over whether they should get a cochlear implant for their deaf son. High drama. However, before every television airing, we have a screening at one of the guild theaters here in L.A. These things are the closest I’ve ever been to a premiere this side of the red velvet rope. And after two years and six films, I finally know enough people at these functions to be able to air kiss and fake my way through the evening. “Ciao, darling! We’ll do lunch. Have your people call my people.” (Actually, it’s a lot of fun, and I stay away from the fakey-fakes, but it’s better for my faux-Hollywood rep for you to think that I don’t.)

Usually, we get a star or two from the movie to show up. Last night Academy Award-winner Marlee Matlin showed up with her Dancing With the Stars partner and reminded everyone that voting is still open. It was kinda cute. Jeff Daniels did not show up. Bummer. However! Linda Bove did, and I got to meet her. Who is Linda Bove, you ask? Well, she’s married to one of the stars of our film, Ed Waterstreet, and she just happens to be Linda “the deaf woman” on Sesame Street! HEE! I could have cared less to meet Dean Cain or Chris Kline last year, or Alicia Silverstone the year before that, but I tugged on a jacket sleeve and asked to be introduced to "Linda From Sesame Street." Told her how excited I was to meet her and that I loved her since I was a little girl. I hope I didn’t do that gross hearing-person thing of over exaggerating my mouth. She thanked me and gave me a hug. Bigger HEE!

But the absolute highlight of the evening was meeting a producer named Stephen who was pitching me a play. As soon as I saw him, I thought, “Stephen Furst.” But I wasn’t positive. I had met Stephen Furst years ago at a diabetes luncheon that I attended on behalf of Woman’s Day. So, I knew he had lost a ton of weight. But that lunch was back in 2000, so who knew. Sure enough, DD said the last name “Furst” at one point, and I immediately leapt on it and said, “I thought that was you. I met you at a diabetes luncheon. You were in that college movie I loved.” Except, I didn’t mean Animal House. I meant – God help me – Midnight Madness. He, of course, thought I did mean Animal House which made it kind of embarrassing when I was, like, “No, the other one. The one with Michael J. Fox.” Groan. Yeah, I’m that cool. Annnyway, he was pretty gracious and a really nice guy, and basically, promised to find me a husband. I told him no actors or un-successful producers and that even if I’m a Catholic, I’m not above the Jews, in fact, I love the Jews, and I totally need a yenta, but people gotta know that I'm a shiksa. He promised to keep his eyes open for me. People, how great would it be if Flounder from Animal House actually finds me a husband? Only in Hollywood…

Sweet Nothing In My Ear airs this Sunday on CBS. Ciao, darlings! Kiss, kiss.