Just Say No

A long time ago, in a career far away, I was told that I had a problem saying, "No." If someone says, "You've got to try this!" I try it. If someone says, "You need to get over here right now!" I get into a car and go. It seems that I don't take into consideration whether I want to try it or want to go. I just do it because I'm told to do it. Because, quite honestly, it's just easier to do it than to argue against doing it. (Although, I do feel I have to tell you that this acquiescence doesn't apply to everything. There's been things that I've considered immoral or dangerous or just plain gross and have had the wherewithal to decline. But for the most part, I go with the flow.) However, the result can often be a determinate to myself.

Case in point: On Monday, I found myself caught up in a conversation with a person that I'm quickly coming to realize I don't like very much. However, instead of avoiding her to the best of my ability and being civil when I'm in a no-way-out situation, I go about my business and silently pray she'll leave me alone. This has a fifty percent success rate. When I get away with it, I'm relieved. When I don't. Well. I cheerily effect that I like her. This is trying, and anyone who thinks I don't have patience should witness me having a twenty minute conversation with a person who doesn't realize that she needs to press tab and not enter when filling out a template on a web site. In this instance, we somehow got onto the topic of movies. She mentioned a movie that won an award at one of the film festivals last year and asked if I had seen it. I hadn't. She asked if I would like to borrow it, as she owned it on DVD. And I said, "No. I have a stack of Blockbuster.com films I haven't watched yet. But if I decide I would like to see it, I know who has it. But thanks for the offer." I believe I was quite clear, don't you?

She brought the movie in yesterday and handed it to me. Sigh. At this point, what I should have said was, "That's very kind of you, however, I really don't have the time to watch it." But I didn't. Nope. I took it. I figured, it was easier to just take the thing and watch it, than it was to argue that I didn't want to see it. Aha! But you see it wasn't easier! You know why? Cuz it didn't shut her up! She now had carte blanche to talk to me. For the rest of the afternoon, whenever I saw her, she was able to make a comment about the film or mention that it really wasn't her copy, it was someone else's copy and they would be really upset if she lost it. So. Now. Not only do I have to watch it, I have to watch it right away. And still I didn't hand it back to her and say, "Maybe later." Nope. I took it home and watched it ASAP. Pissed off the entire time. Knowing that if I didn't watch it, I would have to go through an entire new day talking to her about a film I had no interest in. And, in fact, would have to repeat this process until I did watch the film.

The movie was not bad. The pacing was slow. It was one of those "New York City as a character" pieces that I find really annoying. (Look! The subway comes out of the ground in Queens! Look! The architecture is different in SoHo than it is in Midtown!) The script was uneven and took a couple of bold liberties. But considering it had no budget and was probably shot guerrilla style throughout NYC, it wasn't bad. Notice how I'm not saying that it was good. Anyway. I watched it. Even my new roommate watched it...with me crabbing all the way through it. (Probably not the best way to endear myself to her.) I was infinitely glad when the thing was over, and spent the rest of the night watching Friday Night Lights, Season One, Disc One. (Kyle Chandler, call me!)

I gave the DVD back this morning, mentioned that there were a few things I would have changed in the script, but overall it wasn't bad. Then. She asked whether I would like to work with the writer/director. Are. You. Kidding me? AGH! Suddenly, I'm beginning to think that I was set up. Instead of answering the simple yes/no question, I mentioned what I appreciated about the storyline and somehow got away on that non-answer which was probably accepted as a Yes. Why? Because I can't say no. You see? You see how this is just going to keep going all because I didn't just say No?