Thighs

Yesterday, I was in line at Panera. In front of me, were two teenage girls and their dad. The more I studied them, however, the more I realized that one was not a teenager. In fact, she was the mother of the teenager and the wife of the dad. And I was stunned -- stunned, I tell you -- to note that the non-teenager did not have an ounce of cellulite on her thighs. I was mesmerized by this as every woman I know over the age of 30 has a bit of the saddle-bag going on, if you know what I mean. This woman was thin but not anorexic. Just thin. And I thought, "Wow, that woman has been watching her weight her entire life." And I was right. Because when she turned around, it was Lea Thompson.