Introduction

I was at a job function last night. While I love the social context of a screening, one of the things that I hate most is meeting people. I hate introductions. First, I don't know how to insert myself into a situation. It embarrasses me. For instance, say I see my boss standing in a small group of people and they seem to be smiling and nodding at each other in congenial conversation. I have two options: Continue to stand there like a bump on the log hoping that someone will seek me out or go over to the group. As I've spent years doing the former -- usually to no avail regardless of how mysterious I try to look or aloof I try to act -- I now tend to walk right up to the gathering. Once there, I stand there for a moment for her to recognize me and either invite me into the inner sanctum or give me the cut direct. (For those of you who don't read literature based in 1800s England that means to viciously ignore me.) Usually, however, I'm welcomed in. At this point, one of two things happen: I'm either brought fully into the conversation without an introduction -- so I'm a No Name cracking wise -- or I get a quick, "This is Jessica; she works with us in Development." While this is true and succinct and probably an appropriate introduction in a friendly/casual gathering, it kinda undermines me at a business do. What I mean is, if this is a business contact then shouldn't I have a more formal greeting? Which brings me to my second point, the friendly introduction versus the formal introduction. I feel I have finally come to the place in my life where I should be introduced with both my first and last name no matter the circumstances. No more believing that some guy is going to stalk me if he's got my last name. No more thinking that everything is just casz and I don't care because I'm never gonna see this schmo again. Because, you know, it's not and I may and even if I don't, it's always nice to be respectable. I'm an adult now. Let's respect each other. It would be nice to be known as Jessica Callah@n versus Beck's-friend-Jessica or that-blonde-girl-that-works-with-DD. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out a way to be smooth about this. Last night, when I did introduce myself to people as Jessica-with-no-last-name, they looked askance at me. But when I introduced myself with my last name, they looked at me like I thought they should recognize the me. At which point I would try to add my title, but this didn't settle matters as no one knows what a Development exec does. And what's more uncomfortable than that? Having to reintroduce yourself to someone you've met before...a couple of times. It's awful. It's all awful. I have no aplomb for such things. And no matter how good I feel about myself going into the situation, I end up feeling like I'm tottering around in my mother's heels, taking up too much space, play acting at being an adult. Do we ever get over feeling like we're 14? What's the answer? Stop going out. It's the only thing for it. Call me if you know me. I'll be in my apartment.