1) Proof that once again it is the thought that really counts because really, what am I going to do with one beautifully ornate martini glass filled with hard candy? Very pretty, but I don't drink martinis and if I'm going to serve martinis at a party, wouldn't I want a matching set of four or at the very least two?
2) People scrapping together $100 to give 20 co-workers a $5 gift to thank them for doing $50,000 in work at half the pay even in the middle of a horrific recession caused by people consuming goods they really couldn't afford.
3) Gracious acceptance of bars of soap, boxes of candy, and stationary. Don't get me wrong, I love stationary. Unfortunately, I also love my iPad which has access to my email accounts, Facebook, and Word documents. I will use the soap; I will eat the candy; I will write to my grandmother on the stationary. But more than likely, I will re-gift the non-perishable items to my neighbors next year.
Inevitably, every year one of the Runners, Office Assistants, or Receptionist will suggest that we do a Secret Santa, a White Elephant, or a Grab Bag. And every year, I have to be the Scrooge to put the kibosh on it. "It won't be much," s/he sincerely pleads. "It'll only be $5!" To which I have to ask them, "What are you going to buy our boss for $5?" "It's a grab bag!" "Are you going to buy a gag gift?" "Maybe!" S/He impishly smiles. "Why would you waste $5 on something someone is going to look at for two seconds and then put in a drawer never to look at again?" This goes on for sometime until the young person dejectedly walks away from me, but we won't have to do the Secret Santa, White Elephant or Grab Bag, and it's put off until the next year when the new cast of Runners, Office Assistants, or Receptionist have joined the company and think that I'm fun enough to pass this idea by.
Don't get me wrong, I love gifts! I love getting them and giving them. I love wrapping them! The gift thing is totally genius as far as I'm concerned, and I have to say that this year has been a stellar Christmas season as I have not received one gift that I'm secretly planning on putting into my re-gifting box. (Kudos to all those who have put me on your Santa list. To all of you, all I have to say is, "You know me. You really know me." *hugs*) But I find that the pressure to give professional gifts is enormously taxing. Especially as I'm in middle management so I'm still intimately aware that bosses can give really crappy gifts. But I'm also a boss of sorts, and it can get really expensive when you're working with all the assistants all the time asking them for favors beyond their call of duty. I always want to give something that looks more expensive (or is more expensive) than I'm willing to pay. I'm big on gift certificates which becomes an issue because gift certificates don't go on sale. If you want to give, say, five freelance readers a $15 iTunes gift card, you are paying out $75. It's much easier to go to Nordstrom Rack and get $15 lip glosses for $7. (Except maybe Charlie won't appreciate the lip gloss...) Back when I was at the P.D., I would make big baked good baskets. I would make mini muffins or brownies and cookies and just bring them to work and put out in the Break Room with a note. Merry Christmas! It wasn't until I moved to New York that I realized that this gift thing is much bigger in the corporate America. Which is weird because, as I've stated above, I get paid to do my job and if you think that a $5 box of stationary with my initial on it is going to make up for the fact that I didn't get a raise this year, you're drinking the Kool-Aid out of the CEO's mini-fridge. If anything, it makes me more resentful.
There is no easy answer to this token gift thing. It has to be done. It should be done! And I'm not saying that my boss, who makes twenty-thousand more than me a year should buy me a $100 gift to even it out. I just wish there was a way to signal that a charitable donation of $5 to a community service would actually be better than a $7 lip gloss. It would probably be really Scrooge'y (not to mention tacky, tasteless, crass, classless and rude) to post a note on my doorway the weekend after Thanksgiving that says something like, "My charity is Planned Parenthood this year. If you're thinking that you'd like to get me something to show your appreciation for all that I do for you, send them the money instead. Happy Holidays!" Hm. Do you think I could get away with it if use the stationary I received the year before to write it out?
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