Mea Cupla

I was doing pretty well there with the posting until a month ago and then I just fell down on the job. It's not that I haven't thought about blogging, I have. But I also have been so consumed with my job that it's been difficult to generate any enthusiasm to create more work even if it is in the name of fun. On the flip side, what little writing I have eeked out has been done either in my journal or on a screenplay that I've been writing. In other words, my real life has intruded.

I come to the Internet for a lot of things -- entertainment, socializing, research, etc. -- but when you lump it all together, what I really come here for is to fill time. Sometimes I log on with the same existential angst that drives me to the fridge three times in thirty minutes. I'm looking for something to sate my boredom, my need to commune, and to relieve this feeling that there's got to be something more to this thing called Life than what I'm doing in the moment which is usually nothing. However, as with the fridge, the Internet usually just lets me down. Sometimes, on the very rare occasion, there is cake I've forgotten or a missed episode of Modern Family, but for the most part...nada.

When my real life rears its head, however, I become incredibly entangled in what's happening in the moment and all other things need to go on the back burner. What I find funny about these times is that people get irritated with my lack of attention to them. I got a phone call from New York last night admonishing me for not answering my phone two nights earlier and not calling this person back. Another friend, who never calls me, admonished me for not checking in with her because she hadn't heard from me in so long. Don't get me wrong, these people are not high maintenance -- I got rid of those people -- but these encounters do make me realize that my life is usually a nice sedate pace, and -- for a lack of a better word -- boring. I'm usually up for anything because I'm not doing anything else. I will admit to you, dear reader, that I like a bit of boredom because boredom is manageable. You get to decide how to be un-bored. It's hard to shake when you're in the doldrums, but for the most part, there is not high drama that needs to be triaged and neutralized. I prefer that. Hence, why I'm single.

Even though I haven't been blogging, I have wanted to make some observations here, and I think I'll be able to squeeze one in soon. However, since most of my fellow bloggers haven't updated in awhile, I'm going to guess that summer has been pretty hectic for most of us. And for the rest of you...well, I hope there was cake in your fridge.